A Drones Club tale, with Freddie Widgeon.

The word around the Drones Club was that Freddie Widgeon had a scarcely-used copy of Alfred, Lord Tennyson's works for sale. What was Freddie, who never read any poems except those his school teachers made him read, doing with a book of poetry?

The book came about on one of Freddie's trips down to Tudsleigh where he fell in love at first sight with April Carroway. She outside, sitting on a bench reading Tennyson to her little sister, Prudence. Freddie caught site of the author and broke speed records getting to a bookstore to pick up a copy of Tennyson and do some homework. He glanced at Lady of Shalott, and felt this was enough to name-drop.

A friend of the family, April's mother, Lady Carroway, invited Freddie down for a few weeks stay, and he packed his Tennyson and headed for Tudsleigh. As he sat speaking to Lady Carroway, another gentleman was admitted by the butler. A Captain Bradbury of the English troops in India. This made Freddie a bit uncomfortable, knowing that there would be a bit of competition staying on the grounds.

Captain Bradbury, when introduced to Freddie, yawned and advised him that it would be best if he made a fairly short stay at Tudsleigh, alluding to the fact that scenery could not be fully appreciated when looked at through two bunged up eyes. Freddie excused himself to go think a bit.

At breakfast the next morning, Freddie saw his cue to throw in the Tennyson. Hearing April mention the name Lancelot, Freddie said it was quite like "Lady of Shalott" in which Tennyson's character, Lancelot, did some spritely running around for some lady's attentions. April was, of course, taken in that Freddie, like she, appreciated Tennyson.

Freddie used this to ask her to go rowing with him the next day. She had already made an appointment to do something with Captain Bradbury, but she felt it could be postponed, and agreed to go with Freddie.

Later that day Freddie was having a drink at the local Blue Lion when a large shadow of a figure loomed over him. It was Captain Bradbury. The Capt. reminded Freddie of the appointment he (Freddie) had in London that he needed to go attend to. Freddie could not remember any such appointment, but the Capt., rolling up his shirt sleeves and flexing his muscles said it may have slipped Freddie's memory, and went on to tell him how he (the Capt.) had won the Heavyweight Boxing Championship in India. He then exited leaving Freddie sitting with his mouth open.

The next day, Freddie was sitting in a row boat at the Town Bridge, waiting for April. A figure appeared, but it was not April, it was her little sister, Prudence. She informed Freddie that April was called away to attend to lunch with the mother of a friend who was passing through. Prudence was to fill in until April could make it to the row some time later.
So, she and Freddie took off in the boat, Freddie rowing and Prudence making a mess of the guide ropes and steering the bow into the path of a passing barge.

Prudence noticed the copy of Tennyson Freddie had in the boat and this brought on the subject of pretending to be characters from stories. Freddie pacified her by saying no one could do wrong to pretend to be one of Tennyson's characters. He pulled the boat over to shore and wanted to take a nap. Prudence could read Tennyson or do what she wanted, as long as she didn't wake him.

Some time later, upon waking, Freddie noticed Prudence was nowhere to be seen. He walked to the water and saw her clothes floating on the surface. Had she drowned? He swam out to secure the figure, and saw that all he had was an armful of wet clothes. No body to be found.

He was now soaked and needed a change of clothes. He saw a cottage in the distance and went to knock on the door. No one answered. The door was unlocked so Freddie rationalized that if he could get a change of dry clothes, he would pay the owner back later.

He found a bedroom with a closet full of clothes. As he put on a shirt and began to clothe his top-half, he glanced at a picture on the chest-of-drawers, and gasped to see the figure of Captain Bradbury. He had broken into the Captain's cottage. And to make this worse, he heard someone whistling as they came up the drive, and looked out the window to see Captain Bradbury.

Freddie rushed to the front door as the Captain approached the doorway, and slammed the door in his face. The Captain ran around to the back of the cottage to make entry through one of the open windows. Freddie ran to the window with a sturdy broom in hand and, as Captain Bradbury shoved one leg through the window and was about to pull himself in, Freddie poised the broom against his chest and shoved. The look that the Captain gave Freddie as he fell backwards was one of a man who would like to dissect him with a blunt knife.

Freddie ran out the front door and saw the Captain's two-seater which he approached with the intent to hijack. He jumped into the car and when putting out a foot to step on the starter noted that he had forgot to put on pants in the middle of the fray. He saw a large rug in the floorboard and pulled this over his bare limbs, cranked the car and sped off.

He had only gone a half mile when suddenly, from the bushes on the side of the road, a figure jumped out waving her arms. It was April Carroway. Freddie stopped. April wanted some explanations. The most important was why Freddie had advised sister Prudence to ride around the countryside nude on a horse, imitating Lady Godiva. Astonished, Freddie denied this. A voice from the bushes, the voice of Prudence, yelled that he said no one could go wrong imitating a Tennyson character, and Lady Godiva was what she picked.

This explained how Prudence's clothes got into the water. She folded her clothes up in a nice pile, and the horse had kicked them into the river. April saw the rug covering Freddie and insisted that he hand this over to cover Prudence with. Freddie, not wishing to expose his own limbs, could not consent to this request. April became assertive and demanded that he give her the rug immediately.

Freddie gurgled and gasped out apologies, then seeing how no other amenable answer could be arrived at, said he was very sorry, and put his foot to the accelerator and sped off.

And that, said one of the Beans, was why Freddie is adamant about getting rid of this particular copy of Tennyson.