A Drones Club tale, featuring Cyril "Barmy" Fotheringay-Phipps and Reginald "Pongo" Twistleton-Twistleton.

There could not be a stronger friendship than that between Barmy and Pongo. And their knockabout cross-talk act was legend at the Drones club. Of course, it could always get better so, in order to have some privacy in their rehearsals, they took leave to Bridmouth-on-Sea. It was here that the unexpected happened - a female came between them.

They were in an emporium picking up some odds and ends when Angelica Briscoe bought some goods and told the clerk her name and to deliver it to her place at the vicarage in Maiden Eggesford. Pongo and Barmy stopped in their tracks as Angelica exited. There was a brief moment of silence.

Suddenly, Pongo remembered something vitally important back in London that he needed to get back to. Barmy was strangely relieved to see him leave. What could explain this sudden parting on amiable terms? The answer came when Barmy happened to "wander" down to Maiden Eggesford, and went into the Goose and Grasshopper for a thirst quencher. He stopped when who should he see but Pongo siting at the bar, talking to the bar maid. Barmy sat down next to Pongo who turned with a look of amazement.

Some very stilted conversation came about as they questioned each other of their sudden change in plans. Pongo finished his drink and went off to his room leaving Barmy who heard the bar maid speaking to a Mr. Briscoe and ascertained that he was from the vicarage. Putting two and two together, Barmy deduced that this must be Angelica's brother. He saw that the man had on their "old school tie" and used this as a foot in the door to make conversation.

Barmy mentioned Angelica to the Briscoe fellow and he said Barmy should meet her, to which Barmy heartily agreed. The Briscoe chap even set Barmy up to help Angelica with the church treat, to which Barmy was ecstatic.

Pongo, upon hearing that Barmy has edged his way into the treat took great offense, and heated words followed. Barmy felt remorse later and gave Pongo the church treat and Angelica, with his blessings. Angelica was not sated with Barmy's ditching out and insisted upon his taking the church mothers on a bus outing the day of the treat.

Wodehouse's description of Barmy's ordeal with the mothers has to be one of the funniest scenes I've ever read (or heard). Starting with one of the mothers throwing a tomato from the bus and knocking a rider off his bicycle, it got worse and was seasoned with the mothers telling Barmy that they didn't want any of his lip or cheek.

They went to a fair and drove (and destroyed) bumper cars, then went on a fishing boat excursion and, all and all, at the the end of the day, Barmy dragged himself up to the bar at the Goose and Grasshopper for a restorative. He was only beginning to sip when Pongo dragged himself in, looking bewitched, bothered and bewildered, with the remnants of a jam sandwich still sticking to his jacket.

Ordering a drink was pre-empted by Pongo's wanting to verbally abuse Barmy for getting him into such a mess, and concluded that it was obviously a plot by Barmy to get Pongo out of the way and to get even closer to Angelica for engagement.

The bar maid, hearing this, interrupted to tell them all. The Briscoe chap was not Angelica's brother. He was her second-cousin and also her betrothed. Barmy and Pongo stood staring at this news. She went on to tell them that the Briscoe fellow told her to keep his identity secret because there was someone staying there that he wanted to rope into replacing him in aiding the church treat, which he knew would be a disaster.

Barmy and Pongo were very quiet as the bar maid returned to her duties. That they had both been duped brought them back together. They shook each other's hand and said "Barmy" ... "Pongo".

They went back to rehearsing the cross-talk act, and Barmy stopped suddenly to tell Pongo that he must be the wearer of the green whiskers in this year's performance. Pongo was touched and speechless. Their friendship had been tried in the furnace, and it came out intact.