As told by S.F. Ukridge to Corky Corcoran

Ukridge and Corky are wandering the streets of London when suddenly an older gentleman in spats, top hat, and white goatee appears and hails Ukridge with a merry "Stanley, bless my soul, I haven't seen you in years."

Ukridge, to Corky's surprise, snubs the man and tells Corky, "Let us be getting along," and they pass by quickly. When questioned of this remarkable behavior, Stanley replies, "Fate, Corky, is odd." And he goes on to begin his tale of his relationship with the Old Stepper.

The time goes back to Ukridge's earlier years, and he was house-sitting a cottage in the country for his aunt Julia Ukridge. It seems that one day the stepper showed up at Stanley's door. He said he was an uncle of Stanley's, having married his late stepmother's step-sister, thus the reason why Ukridge referred to him as the Old Stepper.

Stanley took him in, allowing him to stay a few weeks. The Old Stepper thought the place needed some brightening up, so he ordered some comfortable chairs and a sofa. This made Ukridge happy, and lounged in the comfy chairs quite a bit. The stepper thought the place needed a summer house, and soon one of these appeared.

It was while staying at this cottage, before the stepper's arrival, that Stanley fell in love with a neighboring young lady named Myrtle, who's father was an O.B.E. and president of Jute import company. The stepper noticed Stanley's affections for the young lady, and asked about her.

It seems that her birthday was a few days away, and Ukridge of course asked the stepper for some money to get her a present. The stepper replied that what Myrtle needed, as any young English girl, was a sundial. And he, the stepper, was going to see that she got one. Ukridge was not all that confident that the stepper could pull off such an acquisition, but he remained silent.

It was in the middle of the next morning that Stanley heard the stepper outside their cottage. He looked out and saw the stepper with a wheelbarrow filled with an impressive sundial. Stanley took this over to Myrtle's house next door and used this as a starting point to get her and her father over to Stanley's for a birthday party. The stepper had promised, if she would come, that he would fill the cottage with flowers.

Myrtle and her father agreed to come over, and left word at their house for the late-arriving uncle Philip to come over to the party. Ukridge was the most cordial host and made sure Myrtle and her father had plenty of food and drink. The father soon began to talk to Ukridge about the possibility of his becoming involved in the jute business. This made Stanley feel even more that things could not possibly go wrong.

It was then that the maid ushered a man into the party room. He was a stranger. Ukridge, still the congenial host, told the man to take a chair. The man said he was going to take all the chairs. And the sofa, too. He was from the Mammoth Furnishing Company, and the check for these goods was returned as being bad.

The moving men removed all the furniture from the room, save for one end table that belonged to Miss Ukridge. Myrtle's father was quite unimpressed with this sudden showing of Ukridge's failings and tried to leave. Ukridge did some fancy talking and managed to get them to stay, still referring to his uncle as being one of the richest men in Australia, and there had to be some bank mixup.

It was then that the maid ushered another man into the room. Myrtle cried, "Uncle Philip." Uncle Philip was also a neighboring resident and appeared to have some serious thoughts on his mind. He told Myrtle that he had come to see Mr. Ukridge about something. His speech was interrupted as he gazed at the only piece of furniture left in the room, the end table, and began gasping and choking on his words. He screamed, "My roses!!!"

It seems that uncle Philip's rose garden has been depleted down to the last petal, and they were in Ukridge's parlor. Stanley took the defensive measures of replying that his uncle had given him the roses, and they were an honorable gift. Uncle Philip of course wanted to meet this uncle. He was told by Myrtle's father that Ukridge had a mysterious uncle that no one had met, and who was prone to buy furniture with a bad check. And now apparently stole roses.

"And sundials!" exclaimed uncle Philip. It seems that the sundial that Ukridge gave Myrtle came from uncle Philip's garden.

"And my summerhouse," continued uncle Philip. This, too, was evidently removed from uncle Philip's garden. Myrtle, her father, and uncle Philip all exited with some dismay and hauteur.

Stanley, still quite in shock from the proceedings, was interrupted by a whistled tune that came from the stepper as he entered the cottage. "Here are the eggs," said the stepper as he began unloading them out of every pocket in his coat. He then noticed something was not the same. "Where are our guests?" he asked.

"Gone," replied Ukridge. The stepper looked around. "Where's the furniture?"

"Gone," replied Ukridge. And he told the Old Stepper how the furniture company took away the things because of a returned check. He went on to speak of the owner of the roses, the sundial and the summerhouse who had showed up at the party.

"Too bad," said the stepper, shaking his head. "I never could shake off this habit of scrounging." He went on to say that he would make things all right by going to the O.B.E. and explaining everything. Upon this, he headed out the door.

And that, said Ukridge to Corky, was the last time he saw the stepper until this sudden appearance today.