Just a funny Wodehouse story told by an unknown narrator. Featuring Freddie Fitch-Fitch.

This story is not told by Eggs, Beans and Crumpets, nor by Mr. Mulliner. It is a funny story, though, and involves a person not commonly found in the repertoire of Wodehouse characters, Freddie Fitch-Fitch. The story and plot is typical Wodehouse with human frailties, inanities and everything working out for the best at the end.

I higly suggest this story because it is filled with typical Wodehouse nuggets of off-comments, nuance of meaning, and even some Vaudevillean repartee. This synopsis does not do the story the justice it deserves.

Freddie Fitch-Fitch, it seems, has a favorite uncle, Sir Aylmer Bastable, who is also the guardian of Freddie's financial trust. But, it will take sweetening the old bird to get some money for Freddie to marry his loved one, Annabel Purvis.

Freddie visits uncle Aylmer at the Droitgate Spa, where the hypochondriac lives and revels in telling of his illnesses to any who will listen, and even to those who don't care to listen.

On one of his visits to see uncle Aylmer, Freddie tells him of his love for a woman who is an onstage assistant for the magician, The Great Boloni. Elmer is aghast that his nephew is in love with such a person and informs Freddie that he will get no money from him if he marries her. Aylmer bemoans the fact that he has enough to worry him, as he has just lost his best nurse who got married.

Freddie persuades Annabel to take the job as his uncle's personal nurse, as Aylmer has not met her. She does this and, some weeks later ingratiates herself with Sir Aylmer, who tells Freddie he should be falling in love with nurses like his miss Purvis. Freddie agrees whole-heartedly and exits the room to find the nurse, telling uncle Aylmer he will find and woo her instantly.

Freddie exits the room to go see her as uncle Aylmer says "God speed your wooing." Some minutes later Freddie returns and tells Aylmer that he just met the nurse, they are in love, and engaged to be married. Aylmer remarks when he said 'God speed your wooing' he didn't think it would be this quick. But, he condones the marriage and is now willing to unbelt the bucks.

Freddie, relieved, now goes to his own club for a few refreshers. It is not long before he is told that a gentleman in the lobby wishes to see him.
It is The Great Boloni, or by his real name, Sir Mortimer Rackstraw. He was engaged to Annabel, but she cut it off to become engaged to Freddie.

Rackstraw is quite angry and calls Freddie a fiend. When Freddie says his last name is Fitch-Fitch, Rackstraw calls him a fiend-fiend, and threatens great ill-tidings upon their union and exits.

Freddie hurries down to Droitgate Spa to speed things along. He brings pen and paper for uncle Aylmer to embody in a letter his permission for Freddie to have his money. Freddie is told by Annabel that things are worse than they seem.

Mortimer Rackstraw, she tells him, was at Droitgate Spa with the intention of unmasking her lineage to Sir Aylmer. Her uncle Joe, Rackstraw feels, is of questionable repute and upon hearing this, Aylmer will forbid the banns.

Annabel lures Rackstraw into the cellar where she closes the door behind him, locking him in. If only Freddie can get the letter endorsed for the money, there will be no problem with the marriage.

Freddie and Annabel meet in Sir Aylmer's room and find he is conversing with another patient, a Mr. Rumbalow, trading news of their ailments and operations. Rumbalow heads a club at the spa that is made up of proud hypochondriacs, all of whom look upon hospitalization, illnesses and operations as being next to Heaven.

Suddenly, at the door appears Mortimer Rackstraw, seething with anger and revenge. He denounces Annabel in front of Sir Aylmer and begins telling him of her shady relatives, particularly an uncle Joe who was a colonel in only the Salvation Army and not in the regiments as Annabel had insinuated. Aylmer is aghast at this news and tells Freddie he cannot marry Annabel.

A stranger enters the room and Annabel addresses him as "uncle Joe." She introduces him to Freddie, the man she says she will marry. Uncle Aylmer yells "No, no" and Mortimer Rackstraw echos "No, no."

Uncle Joe reflects on how kind and helpful Annabel is, and how she used to smooth his pillow when he was in the hospital. The news causes silence throughout the room. Uncle Aylmer is interested in Joe's hospitalization.

Joe rattles off some sicknesses that even a doctor would have a hard time pronouncing, and says he has spent most of his life in hospitals, continuing to name multi-syllable illnesses. He mentions that fact that his name is Joe Boffin.

Uncle Aylmer and Mr. Rumbalow ask if he is "the" Joe Boffin, known throughout the medical world for his operations and need for hospital care. Joe remarks he the one and the same. Aylmer and Rumbalow want to shake Joe's hand, as his name is a hallmark in the world of hypochondriacs.

Rumbalow asks Joe to come to his next meeting of the hypochondriacs club, and Joe says he would be honored to attend. Uncle Aylmer gives his blessings to Annabel and Freddie's wedding.

Mortimer Rackstraw, who has been silent in the midst of all the proceedings, throws his hands up in an indignant gesture and storms out of the room.

Annabel and Freddie are then happily married.