A Drones Club tale featuring Bingo Little.

Bingo Little and his authoress wife, Rosie M. Banks, were the proud parents of bouncing baby Algernon Aubrey Little. Bingo was a bit taken aback upon seeing little "Algy," whom he thought looked like a homicidal fried egg, but when he looked through his own photos of himself in infancy and noted he looked the same at that age, Bingo realized that there was hope for his son.

Rosie, as the story unfolds, was accompanying her mother to the healthy brine baths of Worcestershire and left Algy in Bingo's care. Bingo, always on the alert for omens that are sent from above for his gambling purposes looked at Algy and noted he looked like a gargoyle, which just so happened to be the name of a horse running at 3:00. Placing his last tenner on this horse, and losing, Bingo now found that he was going to have to do without cigarettes, cocktails and other luxuries.

His thoughts turned now to getting money for his necessities and, of course, this led to his thinking of Oofy Prosser, who, for some unknown reason, was acting in a very friendly and benevolent manner lately.

Bingo also reflected that recently, upon his entering the Writing Room at the Drones Club, he found Oofy sitting there composing, of all things, a poem of some revolting romantic nature, and questioned Bingo on his opinion of the married life.

This, thought Bingo, could possibly mean that the club millionaire, Oofy, has at last found love, and he reasoned that a man in love would be in a melting mood, and could be touched for a considerable sum. With this in mind, Bingo hurried over to Oofy's flat on Park Ave.

As Bingo got out of the cab he saw Oofy coming down his steps to the street. Cheering hello to Oofy with a rousing cheer, he noted that Oofy took this opportunity to rush by him, jump into the cab and buzz off. He did hear Oofy tell the driver to go to the Savoy Grill, so Bingo hailed another taxi and sped off.

At the Savoy, Bingo spotted Oofy at a table talking to a young woman who he, Bingo, knew and this gave him an excuse to "well, well, hello, hello" and horn his way into their midst. Bingo joined them, but noted that Oofy was very quiet throughout the meal. The woman excused herself to go to the train station, and Oofy offered to go and see her off. This gave Bingo a chance to say that he had no plans, either, and he would join them.

At Charing Cross station the train pulled away with the young woman, and Bingo turned to Oofy asking him for a tenner that would save his life. Oofy, none to happy, said that he did not want to save Bingo's life and that he'd rather see Bingo as a corpse so he could dance on the remains. Bingo took great offense to this and bid Oofy good-bye in a heated manner.

Back at home, Bingo found a letter from Rosie updating Bingo on how she was doing and how her mother looked floating in the brine bath. Out of the envelope dropped a tenner, which made him think of how the Israelites felt when the manna dropped from heaven. Now he had a tenner to do what he wanted with.

The postscript of the letter, however, dictated to Bingo what the tenner was for. Mrs. Bingo wanted him to open a personal bank account for Algy, saying it would be too sweet for him to have his own account and passbook.

Bingo held onto to the tenner for the time being and, placing Algy in his perambulator, took him out for a walk around their neighborhood, Wimbledon Common. It was during this walk that he bumped into an old friend and bookie, Charles ("Charlie Always Pays") Pikelet, who was also pushing a perambulator with his daughter in it.

The talk revolved around their babies and how ugly they were. As betting men this talk led to the question of whose was the ugliest, and a bet of a tenner sprang up. A passing Bobbie was asked to be the judge and, after studying both Algy and the girl, gave the award to Pikelet, who won the bet.

Bingo returned home and was trying to think up some excuse as to why he lost Algy's bank tenner, when the phone rang. It was Rosie who informed Bingo she was coming home early and for him to pick her and mother up at Paddington station the next day.

She also asked Bingo to correct some of her book proofs the editors sent back and get them into the mail to meet a deadline. While Bingo was reading and correcting the story, Bingo glanced at a passage that no doubt would be the answer to his problem.

It concerned a poverty-stricken family who's baby was the God-daughter of a man like Ebeneezer Scrooge. But, when the baby was brought in person to this miser, his heart softened so that he was spouting money like a fountain.

The God-father to little Algy was none other than Oofy Prosser. The next morning, Bingo grabbed his son and hurried off to Oofy's to soften his heart. Oofy's butler let Bingo and Algy in, but said that Mr. Prosser was asleep near the fireplace in the sitting room where he remained since his late-night arrival from a party.

Bingo told the butler that he had to run pick up his wife at Paddington. He was leaving Oofy's God-son, Algy, next to him so that when Oofy woke up, he would be so proud and honored for this visit. Bingo and wife would pick Algy up on their return.

Rosie was waiting for Bingo with her mother at Paddington, and asked where Algy was. Bingo replied he was at Oofy's. Rosie said she had to take her mother home and that she would meet Bingo at Oofy's and pick up Algy.

Bingo returned to Oofy's and found that he had awakened from his sleep and was staring at Algy, whom he thought was a drunken vision. Bingo explained that he had left Algy while he went to get Rosie.

Oofy was appalled at the thought of having to take care of an infant for a short spell, much less for 24 hours a day as its parent. The thought of parenthood made Oofy shudder.

He then felt a wave of appreciation glow all over him. He told Bingo that sometimes men let themselves fall into the marriage state, and that this is, often as not, where such things as Algy come from. Had Bingo not horned in on Oofy's meeting with the young woman, Oofy was finding himself edging toward making a proposal of marriage. Bingo's presence had kept him from doing it.

Oofy was so thankful to Bingo for his saving him from the scaffold that he remembered Bingo had asked him for a fiver. Bingo corrected him that it was actually a tenner. A tenner indeed. Oofy asked Bingo if he could give him 50 quid to show his appreciation.

And, of course, Bingo agreed.