A Drones Club tale, featuring Bingo Little

(Reviewer's note: this story took some careful study in order to figure which pekingese was which, and who had who's animal. But, it came to light, so here it is.)

Bingo's sudden infatuation for pekingese dogs was not infatuation... it was desperation. According to the Eggs, Beans and Crumpets at the Drones Club, it all started the day Bingo Little's authoress wife, Rosie M. Banks, had good news for him after she read her morning mail. She thought she had a job for Bingo. A friend of hers, a Mr. Purkiss, owner of the magazine for children "Wee Tots," was in the market for a managing editor. Rosie suggested Bingo, and the Purkiss letter said he would meet Bingo at a scheduled place, Charing Cross at 12:00 noon.

Rosie could not be around to hear the results as she had to leave for Bognor Regis to be company for her mother who, by doctor's orders, had to take the brine baths so popular there. Rosie had to leave their six pekes behind for Bingo to baby-sit, and she drove off. Bingo left the pekes to the care of the butler, Bagshaw, as he hurried down to make his appointment with Mr. Purkiss.

Bingo and Mr. Purkiss greeted each other on the sidewalk at Charing Cross Station, and had only said a few words when Bingo looked up to see one of his creditors, a clothier named B.B. Tucker, whom he had owed a small sum of money for about a year. B.B. Tucker spotted Bingo and was approaching fast when Bingo felt that such an embarrassing contretemps in front of Mr. Purkiss would not show him in his best light. A passing truck came between B.B. Tucker and Bingo. Bingo used this to say "Well, good-bye Purkiss," and disappeared as Tucker arrived.

Bingo laid low until Tucker was gone, but when he returned to the meeting place, Purkiss, too, had decided to leave. The next day, Bingo found the results of his abrupt departure. He received a letter from Mr. Purkiss informing Bingo that for his needed position of editor he had made "other arrangements." Bingo now dwelled on just what he could tell Rosie now that he had muffed the prospect of his getting the job she had been so hopeful for.

He sat in his chair to think about this as his six pekes came up expecting their snacks of sugar. It was while feeding them that an even worse situation presented itself. Of the known six pekes he was sure Rosie had collected, he could now only see five. One was missing. Bingo scoured the house for the errant dog, but to no avail. Bagshaw the butler was gone on some domestic duty, so he could not ask him.

Possibly the dog sneaked outside and was in the neighborhood. Bingo grabbed his hat and roamed Wimbledon Common, making chirruping noises to hopefully find the missing animal. As he wandered the neighborhood he reflected on what Rosie would say about a missing peke. She might even go so far as to suggest he had sold the animal for money to put on a race. He had to find this peke.

It was after reaching the point of giving up that Bingo turned the corner to see something that brought him to a halt. A butler was taking a dog out for a walk, and this dog happened to be a peke so identical to the missing one that Bingo's blood boiled. Pekes look alike in some respect and if Bingo could sneak this one away, he could plant it in with his other five and Rosie would never know the difference.

How, thought Bingo, could he lure the animal away? He went around the corner to the local grocery store and purchased something that a peke would follow anywhere, even sell its soul for... cheese. He then went back to where the butler walked the dog. Bingo hid in the bushes as the butler took the dog back inside. Bingo was about to give up and leave when the front door opened and out came a man with a portable radio, followed by the peke. Bingo gasped as he recognized Mr. Purkiss, the owner of Wee Tots.

Purkiss turned to twist the knobs of the radio as the peke, smelling the cheese, came over to Bingo. Losing his hat as he emerged from the bushes, Bingo grabbed the animal and was off before Purkiss could turn around and see him. Back home, Bingo put the pinched peke in with the other five.

Bingo then went to his library and was approached by the returning butler, Bagshaw, who informed Bingo that he inadvertently forgot to tell him that Mrs. Little requested that one of the pekes, Wing-Fu, be sent to her in Bognor Regis because a local portrait painter wanted to paint his picture. This explained the missing sixth dog, but now Bingo had to return the stolen dog. He scooped it up and headed back to the Purkiss residence, where he opened the front gate, tossed the peke into the grounds and turned to leg it back home.

As he reached home and came to the front door, Bingo noticed he had a little shadow. He had forgotten to close the Purkiss gate and the little peke had followed him home, and was at his feet. Bingo gave a resigned sigh and went inside leaving the dog outside.

He was informed by Bagshaw that a Mr. Purkiss had been calling desiring speech with Mrs. Little. Bingo was short of hysterics upon hearing this. Purkiss? A Mr. Purkiss, calling here for Mrs. Little. Bingo could only imagine that Purkiss had found his hat in the bushes, recognized the initials in the hat and was now calling Mrs. Little to have the animal returned.

Bingo knew what he had to do. He had to go see Purkiss and make a full confession, and explain why he pinched the Purkiss peke. At the Purkiss residence, Bingo was admitted and announced by the butler. When Purkiss came into the drawing room and saw Bingo, he was not a happy man. Bingo said "I've come about that peke," and suddenly Purkiss gave a start and almost buried his face in his hands. Before Bingo could start his confession, Purkiss said sadly, "You are quite right. I stole the dog."

Bingo, in silence, did a double-take. Purkiss continued to tell how his wife's peke went missing and that he could not let her know that his negligence had caused the animal's disappearance. He knew Mrs. Little had six pekes. He had come over to the Little residence at dusk to try to buy a peke, but found Mrs. Little not at home. As he turned to exit the grounds, a peke in the yard jumped up on his leg. Desperation made him pick up the peke, knowing it belonged to the Littles, and hurry back home.

Bingo said, in a voice disapproving of such things as stealing pekes, "A bit thick, Purkiss." Purkiss admitted he knew the shame of what he had done. He said the dog was in the kitchen and that he would ring for the butler to bring it. He, Purkiss, would then deal with his wife and the loss when she returned. Bingo said he did not want Purkiss to suffer any rebuke for his actions, so he told him to keep the dog. Purkiss, relieved, said he could not think of anything so worthwhile that he could do in return.

Bingo then bemoaned how his wife had her heart set on his becoming the editor of Wee Tots, and now she was to be disappointed since Purkiss would not hire him. Purkiss, knowing that Bingo had the goods on him, said that he would hire him as editor.

And Bingo, also knowing he had the goods on Purkiss, said, "Splendid. Capital. And now in the matter of a small advance of salary."