A Drones Club tale featuring Bingo Little

One member of the Drones Club was rather piqued at the overly-exuberant behavior of Bingo Little who was not only happily singing snatches of song, but also slapping members on the backs in a disturbing manner. The cause of this elation was Bingo's winning at the casino roulette table in Monte Carlo.

The trip to France surprised Bingo as he was balancing an umbrella on his nose to entertain his authoress wife, Rosie M. Banks. Rosie asked Bingo if he would mind going to Monte Carlo to collect some local color she needed for a new book she was writing. This unforeseen request caused him to start suddenly and drop the umbrella. There was no place Bingo would rather go than Monte Carlo. It was the gambler's dream world and Bingo had a can't-fail system devised to break the casino bank.

Bingo assured Rosie he would indeed go and requested some funds to pay for the room, food and other bills. Rosie said he would not need money because she was having the bills sent to her bank. All Bingo would need would be a few francs for tips and things. Bingo, being broke, could only smile wanly and agree.

This sudden chance to try out his new method brought about the question "where to get some capital?" It was obvious that he couldn't ask Rosie for the funds. She had a certain antipathy toward gambling.

The only person with the immediate funds that Bingo knew was the club millionaire, Oofy Prosser. Bingo hurried to the Drones Club only to be informed that Oofy was off to Europe. He cursed considerably and tried to touch other club members, but to negative results.

The next day Bingo arrived in Monte Carlo and checked into his room. There he got out sheets of paper and a pencil and tried his new gambling system. It always worked on paper. No matter how many times he did it, the system always worked.

The pain and chagrin worsened because he had no money. He looked at the newspaper and noticed something that made his eyes bulge. The society page noted their new arrivals to the Hotel Magnifique, and a "Mr. Prosser" was one of the guests. Bingo called up the hotel and found that it was indeed Oofy Prosser who was staying there. Bingo asked to be connected to Oofy's room.

When Oofy answered and heard Bingo's voice, he said under a low breath, "Oh my God!" Bingo offered to take Oofy to lunch and Oofy was incredulous. But, as he was not the one to foot the lunch bill, Oofy agreed and met Bingo for the noontime meal. Satisfied after the meal, Oofy told Bingo he wanted to give him something. Bingo tingled with hopes that it would be a gift of money. Instead, to Bingo's dismay, Oofy gave him a guaranteed tip on a horse that was running at the 2:00 race.

Bingo took this advice and used it to urge Oofy to loan him a tenner so he could bet on this race. Oofy said no money was needed because his bookie would give Bingo credit, as Bingo was a friend of his. Bingo took the bet at the cost of a tenner, and the horse came in seventh, so that Bingo owed the bookie. Bingo asked the bookie if he would wait for his money and was told that the coming Friday was good enough.

Bingo told the bookie he was not quite sure if he could come up with the funds and the bookie called a large brute of a fellow, named Herbert, over to look at Bingo. The bookie told Herbert not to forget Bingo's face. He also told Bingo that people who welched on their bets with him, for mysterious reasons, always met up with unfortunate accidents. He then left Bingo to think about it, and Bingo went back to his hotel room.

The phone rang in his room and it was Rosie's friend, Dora Spurgeon, who was also in France. She was returning Rosie's diamond broach she had borrowed and it was being delivered to Bingo's hotel room. Bingo now had an expensive piece of jewelry to pawn, but the question was - should he use the money to pay off the bookie, or go try his luck at the casino where he could try his system? Bingo made his decision and headed for the casino.

Bingo's system was a little slow in getting the idea of what it was supposed to do for him and he lost all his money except a single one-hundred franc chip. This he placed on black, which did not come up, and his chip was taken away. Bingo stood rather numb, looking at the gaming table, when a familiar voice from behind greeted him. It was his wife, Rosie, who had an appointment cancelled in England, and decided to come over to be with Bingo.

She looked at Bingo's amazed expression on his face and asked, in a suspicious manner, if he had been gambling. Bingo replied No, feeling that he was not lying because the word "gambling" implied that there was a chance to win, which Bingo knew was not the case with his luck. Rosie continued to update him on latest news when he looked down to see a pile of chips that were his. How could this be?

The answer was a technicality. His 100-franc chip, being on black when the roll was not in Bingo's favor, had been put "in prison" or "on hold." As black was hit the following roll, the chip was taken out of prison and placed back where it was. The next roll, being black, had won Bingo 1200 francs, which he could not touch as Rosie stood talking to him.

The roulette wheel kept hitting black and Bingo's earnings kept mounting up, untouched. Finally, Rosie decided to go elsewhere in the casino, but Bingo asked if he could stay on a while longer to watch. She exited and Bingo turned to roll in his chips, then went to the cashier to cash them.

He stuffed the bills, a good 48-thousand francs, in his pockets, his socks, and a good deal inside his shirt. There was a sound of paper money crackling about his person as Bingo walked into where Rosie sat with a despondent look on her face. Bingo tried not to crackle as he approached.

Rosie questioned Bingo. The subject being "we always tell each other everything, don't we?" Bingo had to think a second on this, but agreed to keep the peace. He now knew that Rosie was on to him. She knew he had been gambling. He was taking in a breath to prepare to confess when Rosie began confessing ahead of him.

With deep remorse, Rosie told him how, after she had left him, that she stood watching the roulette table. Something came over her and she decided to take a pop at it. She lost $200 pounds in ten minutes. Could Bingo possibly forgive her, she asked.

Not being in a position to cast the first stone, Bingo of course said "There, there" and that it often happened to people. Not him, mind you, but to others. He asked her what was $200 pounds if it gave her a few seconds pleasure?

Bingo felt such exhilaration at this reprieve from the scaffold that he wanted to cheer and dance about, but knew that this would cause comment. So, he picked up the empty bottle of champagne sitting in front of Rosie and began trying to balance it on his nose to amuse her and break the ice.